#1 2020-09-04 09:57:02

Haleyjurgy
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From: p local xxx
Registered: 2020-09-02
Posts: 17

And now – bewilderment

I struggle to be in the now.
I was with Courtenay for 47 years and we had the usual trajectory of excitement and its physical passions, moving to a sense of belonging together and then building a life together, but that life feels remote, almost non-existent.
At this time,  the past is a series of self-lacerations – the things I didn’t do, the attention I didn’t pay, the carelessness of feelings/time/person.
I want to connect to the whole arc of our life together, the excitement, the quotidian, the annoyances, but instead those years seem  more remote, unreal, than if I’d read a novel about them.
It’s easy to turn from that uncertainty to the future – many of us live there most of the time – the next event, the plan for the next trip/project.
But my stomach tells me it’s important to resist the pull of the future.
My stomach says to stay in the now if I can.
.

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#2 2020-09-04 09:58:49

Haleyjurgy
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From: p local xxx
Registered: 2020-09-02
Posts: 17

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#3 2020-09-04 10:00:38

Haleyjurgy
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From: p local xxx
Registered: 2020-09-02
Posts: 17

Re: And now – bewilderment

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#4 2020-09-04 10:02:42

Haleyjurgy
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From: p local xxx
Registered: 2020-09-02
Posts: 17

Re: And now – bewilderment

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#5 2020-09-04 10:04:18

Haleyjurgy
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From: p local xxx
Registered: 2020-09-02
Posts: 17

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#6 2020-09-04 10:06:16

Haleyjurgy
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From: p local xxx
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Posts: 17

Re: And now – bewilderment

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#7 2020-09-04 10:07:52

Haleyjurgy
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#8 2020-09-04 10:09:41

Haleyjurgy
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From: p local xxx
Registered: 2020-09-02
Posts: 17

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